The First Parent Visit is a little nerve racking.
It's one thing to talk to them on the phone, its another to actually meet them in person.
We had supervised parent visits on Monday and Tuesday.
It was the first time Carson saw his parents since being placed in a foster home.
We took Carson to the main office that we first picked him up at. Thankfully for us, it is only about 5 minutes from our home.
We arrived right on time and as we walked up the steps to the entrance, Carson's mother was already out the door on the front step to meet us with tears in her eyes. Paul was holding Carson as she reached out to hold him. Carson pushed her away but then grabbed on to her necklace to play with it. It was awkward as we stood in the entrance way as tears streamed down her face having her moment with him.
We were able to give her privacy as we maneuvered our way into the building to sign-in. We were able to speak with her for a brief moment and gave her a photo album we put together with pictures of Carson playing at our home.
Carson's social worker was there to meet/greet us. He kindly asked us to be back in an hour and showed Carson and his mom into the visitation room. She had diapers and everything she needed, so we tossed her the stuffed animal that came in the grocery bag his first night and went back home to prepare dinner and clean up our house a bit.
When we went to pick Carson up he walked out of the visitation room smiling and with a new pair of brand name shoes. His mother thanked us profusely for taking such good care of him. She mentioned she knew many foster parents who are not good foster parents and she was glad he was with us. She said a final goodbye as more tears streamed down her face. I noticed she looked past us and out the glass doors to a man standing across the street. It was Carson's dad. The parents cannot have visitations together. It took us awhile to get Carson in his car seat and as we drove by the sidewalk where they were standing holding each other crying, we waved.
The next day, same time, same place, we met his dad. He rode his bike a few miles to get there to visit with his son. Carson had a similar reaction when we handed him over to his father. He kept him at a distance at first and then as he sat on his dad's lap, he kept glancing at us as we walked away to sign-in.
The social worker was not punctual this time and the security guard and the lady behind the glass-protected front desk told us very loudly to stay and supervise Carson and his dad until the social worker was able to come out. Another super awkward moment. We felt so awkward watching them interact like we were intruding on their special time together. It made us thankful that we did not agree to supervise the visits! We were so relieved when Carson's social worker came out. He apologized for his tardiness but he definitely made up for it when at the end of the visit, Carson's dad asked if he could walk us to our car and the social worker followed along as well, which we were more than grateful for!
We gave Carson's dad a duplicate photo album (his own copy) and he thanked us profusely as well. We made it through our first parent visits, another learning experience and growing opportunity! We hear with the following visits a social worker will come to our home and pick-up and drop-off Carson as they will be at a local fast-food place or the park.
It is interesting how meeting people face-to-face can increase our compassion for them and how it can encourage us to pray for them all the more fervently, especially when such a precious child is involved.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
168 hours
We made it through our first week as foster parents.
We could not have done it without the incredible support from our community of family and friends. We are amazed at the love and encouragement that has come our way, and for all our tangible needs that have been met!
Thank you, each one of you, a million times over!!!
It has been 168 hours with Carson and we could fill a hundred piggy banks with all the sense he has taught us. We definitely do not take a full night of uninterrupted sleep for granted anymore. In fact, our lack of sleepless nights weakened Paul's immune system and he came down with sickness so awful he had to miss 2 days of work. And not only could he not work at work but he could not work at home either! Being a single parent is a tough job and I now have the good sense to appreciate all single parents out there!
We were able to talk to Carson's parents and find out all about his likes, dislikes, mannerisms, quirks, and everything-in-between. Talking with them helped us immensely in being able to provide a better home life for him. (It sounded like it really helped them be more at ease with having their child live with strangers!)
Carson is adjusting well. He is very mellow, but he is also a mover! It's difficult to keep him in one place as he is enjoying the adventure of learning to walk. He doesn't cry much and smiling and laughing are becoming more of a common occurrence. We literally could not have asked for an easier kid to be our first placement.
He is still having night terrors (which are heart-wrenching for all of us!) but the frequency per night is lessening. There have been nights when we had to put him in a pack-n-play (portable crib) in our room because he was inconsolable in his own room. Having him in our room means we get to sleep through the rest of the night because he seems to sleep quite peacefully when we are nearby; the inconvenience of having him in our room does have its perks! ;)
He is a good eater! We have not found a food that he does not like yet. He does whine/cry when we take the spoon out of his mouth to refill it with more food. But he is beginning to trust us that we will give him enough food until his tummy is full.
We completed our first "must do" the day after we welcomed him into our home. We took him to his physical examination. He is a physically healthy kid. Yay! He fell asleep in the car on the way there and didn't even wake up when the nurse had to weigh him, take his body length, head width, or prick his finger. He did wake up in time to receive 4 immunization shots and I got teary-eyed watching Paul have to hold him down...and I had only known him for 17 hours! Paul admitted he got a little emotional too--no tears though. :) Carson must have a high pain tolerance because he only cried for a few minutes and then he was done.
He is great at playing independently and with others. It delights him to play/follow/observe our 2 1/2 year old nephew who lives nearby. Everyone in the family is enjoying interacting and getting to know him. He is capturing all of our hearts and its only been 168 hours.
We could not have done it without the incredible support from our community of family and friends. We are amazed at the love and encouragement that has come our way, and for all our tangible needs that have been met!
Thank you, each one of you, a million times over!!!
It has been 168 hours with Carson and we could fill a hundred piggy banks with all the sense he has taught us. We definitely do not take a full night of uninterrupted sleep for granted anymore. In fact, our lack of sleepless nights weakened Paul's immune system and he came down with sickness so awful he had to miss 2 days of work. And not only could he not work at work but he could not work at home either! Being a single parent is a tough job and I now have the good sense to appreciate all single parents out there!
We were able to talk to Carson's parents and find out all about his likes, dislikes, mannerisms, quirks, and everything-in-between. Talking with them helped us immensely in being able to provide a better home life for him. (It sounded like it really helped them be more at ease with having their child live with strangers!)
Carson is adjusting well. He is very mellow, but he is also a mover! It's difficult to keep him in one place as he is enjoying the adventure of learning to walk. He doesn't cry much and smiling and laughing are becoming more of a common occurrence. We literally could not have asked for an easier kid to be our first placement.
He is still having night terrors (which are heart-wrenching for all of us!) but the frequency per night is lessening. There have been nights when we had to put him in a pack-n-play (portable crib) in our room because he was inconsolable in his own room. Having him in our room means we get to sleep through the rest of the night because he seems to sleep quite peacefully when we are nearby; the inconvenience of having him in our room does have its perks! ;)
He is a good eater! We have not found a food that he does not like yet. He does whine/cry when we take the spoon out of his mouth to refill it with more food. But he is beginning to trust us that we will give him enough food until his tummy is full.
We completed our first "must do" the day after we welcomed him into our home. We took him to his physical examination. He is a physically healthy kid. Yay! He fell asleep in the car on the way there and didn't even wake up when the nurse had to weigh him, take his body length, head width, or prick his finger. He did wake up in time to receive 4 immunization shots and I got teary-eyed watching Paul have to hold him down...and I had only known him for 17 hours! Paul admitted he got a little emotional too--no tears though. :) Carson must have a high pain tolerance because he only cried for a few minutes and then he was done.
He is great at playing independently and with others. It delights him to play/follow/observe our 2 1/2 year old nephew who lives nearby. Everyone in the family is enjoying interacting and getting to know him. He is capturing all of our hearts and its only been 168 hours.
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