Placement #3

We were not looking to take any placements after having to say “no” to adopting a precious teenager. (See this post for the full story.) We were still feeling emotional over the loss. But we received a call (a couple of weeks ago) from our favorite placement worker whom we had not spoken to for 2 months (since “Carson” & “Maggie” reunified.) She originally placed us with Maggie and was so supportive and understanding when we experienced difficulties with an upset birth parent, hence the "favorite" title. :)

Anyway, she had a foster mom in the county who needed to take a medical break from fostering and she was desperately trying to re-place the 4 foster children in her care. She asked us to take  “Joey” (not his real name), an 18-month old boy who looked a bit tall for his age with dark hair and brown eyes and the most adorable dimples we have ever seen. (Of course, we do not actually see the child until after we agree to foster and meet him/her in person.)

So even though we were still a bit emotional we knew we could meet this need and agreed to take him, but we needed an extra day to prepare for his arrival. We picked Joey up the next evening at his foster home. He is the first placement we have taken that came from a foster home. The first two placements we had were placed with us right after being taken into custody, so our foster home was the first home they experienced since being with their family [as a side note: and the only foster home! ;) ] This meant that Joey had some clothes and even a couple of toys and had already been through a few of the required appointments. This also meant more knowledge about him was known and we could ask lots of questions about him and be better prepared to transition him smoothly.

Let me tell you, these kids are resilient! Joey didn’t cry when we took him from his foster home of approximately 5 months. He came home with us and was shy and quiet. He observed his surroundings and played with the toys. He didn’t really smile for the first two days even though everyone in our family smiled at him at every opportunity. I’m pretty sure by the looks he gave us, he thought we were weird! The only word he said was “NO!” and he said it A LOT! He said it for everything.

The whole evening was going great, without a hitch. Joey never cried, he listened well, he played and did not seem too upset about the transition. Paul and I were impressed. We were ready to have the best first night with a foster child we have had yet!

I was rocking him to sleep and Paul had just walked out of his room to let me finish up bedtime. Joey closed his eyes and looked asleep, then I heard what sounded like he may have mucous build up in his nose…but wait, he wasn’t sick….all of a sudden he began vomiting all over the both of us! I yelled for Paul, which seemed to startle Joey. I quickly realized I needed to keep my cool as to not freak him out.

Paul came in quickly and was shocked at the sight of sooo much vomit. He kept repeating “I don’t know what to do!” Then he ran out and came back with paper towels and placed them gently on top of us being sure not to get vomit on himself. :) It was obvious there were not enough paper towels so he ran back to get more. During the 15 seconds he was gone, somehow Joey had more in his stomach (even though he did not eat much for dinner!) and vomited a second time!

When Paul came back and saw the even bigger mess, he put the useless paper towels on us and said, “I don’t know what to do!” At which point we both just started laughing! It really was the only thing we could do! They don’t teach this kind of stuff in all the classes we had taken!

The whole time Joey just sat there straight-faced, he never cried, not even a peep. When we gathered our composure, we began thinking logically and Paul grabbed some old cloth towels and placed them around us. He gave Joey a bath while I took a shower and threw every soiled item into the washing machine including Joey's number one comfort item: his Blankie. You know, the one his foster mom told us not to wash for a week because it has her home’s familiar smell on it. Yeah, we had to wash the smell out the first night!

Comfort Blankie in the washer also meant we could not put Joey to sleep until it was washed and dried. So we let him play while we watched him for about an hour or so. He seemed to have a “second wind”, (now that his stomach wasn’t weighing him down!) and even began “coming out of his shell”.

When it was finally time for bed we threw some of his clothes in his crib so he would have the familiar smells his newly washed Blankie was missing. He didn’t sleep through the entire night, but neither did Carson or Maggie on their first nights.

The vomit episode perplexed us. We had no idea why it happened…was it because of something he ate? Was he not used to being rocked? Something else entirely?

We called up former foster mom and asked her. She said, “Oh yeah, when Joey’s environment changes he vomits and has diarrhea for 2-3 days.” Hmm…that might have been good information to know when we picked him up! While Joey did have diarrhea for a number of days, so far he only vomited once for us that first night, (we even changed up his environment after a week and added a second foster child to the mix!), and that makes us feel pretty special!