A support system is crucial in foster parenting and we are so blessed to have such amazing family backing us in this crazy journey! We are always interested in others’ perspectives and thought it would be fun and interesting to share them with our readers.
Mom/Grandma has been our #1 cheerleader in the good times, not-so good times and everything in-between. From being one of the first to meet the new family member, to providing for his/her needs, to offering a listening ear or encouragement to the worn foster parent, she is a jewel to have in our lives. It was difficult to find pictures of Grandma and “Carson” where he wasn’t "facing" the camera, so I had to use some photo-editing to make them postable. He loves being with Grandma and doesn’t mind the camera when she is by his side. You can be sure his expression is either smiling or a look of contentment. Thanks, Mom for sharing your heart and thanks for being you! We love you!
A Foster Grandma’s Perspective
One year ago (almost to this day), a chubby one year old baby boy who was just learning to walk suddenly came into our family’s lives. He came to our family from his family who was in crisis. I remember getting the call from our kids saying, “Mom – we are picking up a 12 month old baby boy in about 30 minutes and we don’t have anything for him!” So off this Grandma went to Walmart to buy a few things: diapers, formula, bottles, t-shirts, pjs, shirts, pants and socks and shoes! Somehow it wasn’t hard to spend money on a child we knew nothing about other than the fact that he needed a safe spot to land and some extra love and attention for a few days.
Being a pediatric nurse (for over 30 years) I love kids – especially babies and toddlers. I have also seen many children and families in difficult crisis situations. So, being the professional that I am, I thought that I could weather the foster grand parenting storm without getting too wet! I thought that my “professional boundaries” would carry over into this situation and I would be able to protect my heart. But that was not to be. This little boy with his boundless energy and unsteady gait worked his way right into my heart. He quickly became one of the grandchildren – as this grandma was totally hooked on him!
We originally thought that “Carson” would only be with our family for a few days, but the days stretched into weeks. Christmas was coming and we were pretty sure he would be sent to a relative’s home, so we all gave him his presents early. Then Christmas came and he was still with us….so we gave him more presents! The weeks then became months. Eleven months to be exact – almost half of his little life!
We weathered some illnesses together (like the call in the middle of the night to nurse grandma for a very croupy little boy who needed a trip to the ER and a breathing treatment), and then we all shared our colds back and forth last winter.
We did all the fun things that grandmas and grandkids do together. We babysat, we read books, we cuddled, we sang songs, we went on walks to the mall. I will never forget hearing him sing the words “Holy, Holy, Holy …God mighty” as the sound came through the baby monitor while he was in his crib one day. This was his favorite song he learned at the children’s program at BSF.
The next thing we knew – there was another call for a family in crisis and we added a beautiful little 5 month old baby girl to the family mix. She reminded me of a little baby doll! So once again, this Grandma was off on a shopping trip – this time for pink outfits!!
When Grandma and Grandpa moved to Asia in June, it was so hard to say goodbye to all of the grandchildren. But it was particularly hard to say good bye to our foster grandchildren as we didn’t know if we would ever see them again. Grandparenting from a distance is a challenge and we are very thankful for technology which makes it a little more fun – but we miss the cuddle times for sure!
A few weeks ago we received the news that our two foster grandbabies were being reunited with their families. What a bittersweet time this has been for this Grandma’s heart. I will confess, I have cried quite a few tears. I think that a Grandma’s grief is doubly hard….we grieve for our own children (the foster parents) and feel their pain, we also grieve for the grandchildren and the disruption to their little worlds, and then we have our own pain over the loss as well. In my heart I am truly happy that the families are reunited but I won’t lie - I am sad for our family. I miss seeing their little faces over the computer as we Skype. These little ones will forever have a place in our hearts.
You may ask, “When it is so painful to say goodbye, are you going to open yourself up and risk the hurt again when the next foster grandkids come on the scene?” My answer is, “Absolutely!” It is so worth the investment to be able to play one small part in God’s story for the lives of these children. Life is risky and we would miss out on so much that God has to offer and teach us if we closed our hearts to these little children.
And so I say to my own children – Paul and Monique – thank you for allowing us the joy to travel on this foster parenting journey with you. Thank you for opening your home and our family to the joys and the sorrows of this journey. We are proud to be the grandparents of as many foster children as God brings into your home! And yes, we will take on the risk of pain and grief with you, because the love and joy we have the opportunity to give and receive is so worth it!
1 comments :
Thank you for sharing a Grandparents love. This was a two tissue read. I truly enjoy all the blogs and seeing how God is working in your lives and all the love these babies were blessed with. You two are a remarkable example of unconditional love and sharing Christ's light and love in the life of these precious children.
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